No, I'm not blaming. I'm just telling that directly or indirectly there is always one person responsible for some change of element in you. One person or probably every other you meet.
I'm just telling that there is one person behind the scene to push you into becoming something you always dreaded of becoming. One person or probably every other you meet.
You are provoked enough. It is a slow poison. You wouldn't know even know you were provoked towrds the metamorphosis because your mirror will be too shattered to even see your face properly. She comes into the picture when you start realizing you are consumed by something black. She will enjoy hurting the person who had hurt her twin to the extent of leaving her a scar. She needs no provocation. She is a sadist when she completely overpowers and consumes you. She will want to just do it. She will speak words you wouldn't have uttered otherwise. She will make them feel she regrets ever meeting them. She will want to hurt those responsible more and more because her anger never seems to die down leaving her twin to feel the remorse of her actions and unsatisfied.
She is a different person born out of you. Her twin is you. She doesn't blame anyone, no. She is your escape. She is your release. You gave birth to her because something affected you. She doesn't blame anyone because she knows you enjoy her when she is you.
She is so consumed by perfection that you won't even get to know she is pushing you hard. She is now responsible for something else in you. You don't blame her, no. You love the results even if it leaves you emotionally drained. You don't blame her because she has given you a strong spine at the cost of many things. She doesn't care, making you believe not to care.
She restricts you with some. She lets you loose with others. She takes control, making you slowly lose your own identity and here she makes you blame that person responsible. One person or probably every other you meet. You cannot blame, no.
Because all the while, it is just you.
---..Labels: Perfectionism, Vivian